The best decision to take
by Maria86
Summary: When Olivia Benson is falsely accused of murder, her partner Elliot Stabler is affected much more than he should be... Spoilers "Perverted"
1. Chapter 1

**Perverted**

« Docket 1935 v Olivia Benson. What does the people recommend ? » The judge announced in a cold voice. Olivia was standing next to her lawyer. Her lawyer. Words she had never thought she would pronounce. But here she was, standing on the side of the accused.

" The people recommend 250 000 on bail." Olivia whimpered as she heard the amount. She had never possessed so much. Her lawyer immediately reacted.

"This is ridiculous! Detective Benson is a decorated officer who has served her country over twenty years."

"Detective Benson has no family whatsoever and we do not want to risk that she runs." The ADA, a young man whom Olivia had only met once, was looking at her and David Jenkins with disdain, as though it was a personal fight for him. He was putting too much in this affair, it was obvious. People became nasty when it came to figures of authority presumably turning bad…

"There are 400 000 officers ready to stand by. They are their family."

But his plead was of no use. The judge had apparently already taken his decision, and soon Olivia was shipped away, brought back to prison. But before that, two things happened.

First, Olivia distinctly heard the little groan that Elliot involuntarily let escape when he heard the sentence. 250 000 on bail. The brunette just had the time to turn around a few seconds, and her eyes met Elliot's. She didn't really know what she saw in his look, but there was definitely pain and anger. And something else she still couldn't quite define. Then the officer gently pulled her arm to take her out of the courtroom. The bikers who had taken place near Olivia, just behind her in fact, all stood up in unison when she began walking away from them. The one who seemed to be the leader leaned forward and almost whispered : "I'll have some friends come to visit you, darling…"

Elliot could not describe the look he saw on Olivia's face at this moment. Pure fear. She stood still a moment and did not dare raising her eyes back to his. But Elliot had distinctly seen the look on her face, the hollowness in her eyes and paleness taking over her face, her cheeks, her lips…

When Elliot walked back into the bullpen this afternoon, he was utterly deceived. He sat down at his desk, staring at the unopened files and unread written messages piling in each corner. With no one in front of him, sat at the opposite desk, he could not get to work. He had to put all his energy trying to solve that case, to find the perp and get his partner out of prison. Soon, she would be driven to Rikers until the jury was selected. How could he allow that?

Fin sympathetically laid a hand shortly on his slumped down shoulders as he brushed past him. Everyone in the bullpen could read in his eyes, in his attitude, how defeated he was and how he missed Olivia Benson.

Olivia had been put in a cell on her own. This would be the only special treatment she would get, not being put with cellmates who knew that she was a cop and who would probably kill her before Olivia ever faced a judge again. The room was at most four square meters big. The light was dull and aggressive. Olivia was seated on what was supposed to be her bed, resting her elbows on her knees. She wanted to throw up, and this did not come from the flu. She could hardly breathe and every noise made her jump. God, she had never thought she would be back in prison, and of course not under these circumstances. Flashbacks from Sealview assaulted her, and Olivia felt her pulse become faster. When she raised her eyes towards the window, everything was blurred. She stood up and moved her shaky legs towards the little square of light, grasping the concrete boarder to breathe in some fresh air. It was getting hot in here.


	2. Chapter 2

Olivia had been put in a cell on her own. This would be the only special treatment she would get, not being put with cellmates who knew that she was a cop and who would probably kill her before Olivia ever faced a judge again. The room was at most four square meters big. The light was dull and aggressive. Olivia was seated on what was supposed to be her bed, resting her elbows on her knees. She wanted to throw up, and this did not come from the flu. She could hardly breathe and every noise made her jump. God, she had never thought she would be back in prison, and of course not under these circumstances. Flashbacks from Sealview assaulted her, and Olivia felt her pulse become faster. When she raised her eyes towards the window, everything was blurred. She stood up and moved her shaky legs towards the little square of light, grasping the concrete boarder to breathe in some fresh air. It was getting hot in here.

Elliot was pacing back and forth around his desk and Olivia's. Now and then he would stop at Olivia's chair and look at her almost empty desk. After twenty minutes of this attitude, Don Cragen decidedly opened his office's door and marched towards his detective. Hands in his pockets, he leaned on Olivia's desk next to her partner and did not say anything during a minute. Then, still looking at the floor in front of him, he said in a low voice.

"Elliot, if you can't handle it, go home."

"I can't."

"So what do you intend to do? Help us out finding who set your partner up or pace around the whole day?" Cragen's voice was cold but not angry. He knew as much as anyone else in this room how Elliot felt about his partner, and he did not want to push him too far.

Elliot reflected a minute on his captain's words and bit his lips.

"I'm okay, Captain. Just give me a minute, I know what I'm going to do."

He turned around and grasped his phone, dialing the number of central booking.

"Hello. This is Detective Stabler, SVU Manhattan. Whom should I contact to pay Olivia Benson's bail?"

As soon as these words escaped Elliot's lips, he saw Don Cragen in the corner of his eye shake his head in a reproachful way. No, this was not the solution. This would only postpone the problem. He would rather have his detective help out proving Olivia's innocence. When Elliot almost threw the phone onto its receiver, the older man was still standing next to him.

"Did you talk this over with Kathy?"

"With all my respect, Captain… This is my business." Don Cragen raised his blue eyes towards Elliot and said very coldly – and not too loud, so that their colleagues would not overhear :

"Detective Stabler, this is my business when I suspect two of my top detectives are too close to work together." The detective, who had begun making his way towards his chair to grab his coat, stopped dead in his tracks. One glance to the left was enough to confirm that Fin and Munch had heard this last comment.

"What do you mean? I don't know what…"

Don Cragen took one step closer. He was tempted to take his hands out of his pockets and shake the man back into reason. But his hierarchy would not be pleased if the captain now lost his mind as well.

"I don't think throwing out 250 000 dollars is merely a gesture of friendship… And your wife would certainly not be pleased, if I might add." Now Elliot was almost boiling inside. He could hardly keep himself from punching his superior. A very shy Fin came to stand between them, feeling that it was time to intervene.

"Captain… Elliot and Liv have been working together for over a decade. I think it's quite normal to be close in these circumstances. Don't you think that Olivia belongs out of prison?"

Don's eyes were literally throwing flames at his detectives.

"Whatever… Do what you have to do, detective. The others, get back to work…"

Both Elliot and Fin nodded and the group separated. With one last glance at the people staring, Elliot grabbed his coat and left the precinct.

Olivia was merely a little thing seated in the corner of her cell, almost completely hidden by the darkness of this late-afternoon. She had wanted to cry, to shout, to throw herself at the walls, to punch her head against the concrete until she lost consciousness. But her legs refused to move and she had to use all her energy to steady her breath. She had broken into sweat and was now freezing. Impossible to say if it was the flu or merely the flashbacks from Sealview taking control over her mind and body. Lowell Harris throwing her onto a mattress. Lowell Harris punching her on the face, in the stomach, on the back. Lowell Harris pressing his hard part on her thigh. Lowell Harris. Her tears were fighting to escape but she did not manage to get out all this emotion. She had to leave this place.

Olivia Benson did not hear the footsteps coming closer in the corridor. All she could listen to were the disdainful comments of the other inmates and the whispers of Lowell Harris.

"Olivia? Open this cell now!" She raised her exhausted eyes to find a very angry Elliot Stabler standing right outside her cell with an officer. As soon as he had unlocked the door, the detective almost threw himself at his partner and lifted her from her corner.

"Liv? Are you okay?"

It took Olivia a few moments to gather her voice.

"I'm alright." Now that you are here.

"What the hell are you thinking?" She did not realize that Elliot's words were directed at the officer. "Don't you see she is sick? Why has no one been warned about her state?"

God, I must look terrible, thought Olivia as she saw the look on Elliot's face.

"Come on, I'll take you outside…" She let her partner lift her limp body and walk her out. Why was he taking her out?

"What did you do?" She managed to utter while still holding onto Elliot's arm.

"I paid your bail. Just a little signature and you're free."

Olivia stopped in her tracks when she heard his answer. Well, she intended to but was pulled forth by her partner. He had one arm holding her left forearm, and the other supporting her back to keep her moving.

"How the hell did you talk Kathy into doing that?"

"I didn't. Come on, we'll talk later." Olivia stopped to sign the register and grab her personal belongings. Her hands were still shaking, her whole body was shivering and Elliot's contact only made it worse. She couldn't wait to arrive outside. They hadn't even reached the parking lot that Olivia had to stop.

"Wait a second…" She stumbled a few feet away to throw down in a nearby bin. God, it felt good to get everything off her chest, so to say. She threw down her fears and memories of that night with Lowell Harris. After that, Olivia felt awfully empty. Only Elliot's arms kept her from falling down again.

"God, what happened to you?" Elliot's blue eyes were boring holes into her, as they were seated in his car, Olivia leaning her head onto the seat.

"It… brought back some memories." Why the hell did she say that? Now he would want to know, he would want to know everything, about Lowell Harris, about Sealview, about her assault.

"I don't want to talk about it now. How did you get that money?"

Elliot turned the motor on and tapped his fingers against the wheel.

"I… put a mortgage on the house." When he dared looking back to his right, he met the angry eyes of Olivia.

"Why the hell did you do this?" Olivia had found a surprising energy. She could not believe it.

"Did you really expect me to watch them ship you to Rikers?"

"Are you ready to lose your house for me? Are you mad?"

"No chance, you're innocent."

Olivia merely nodded. The truth was, she was awfully touched that he had done such a thing. Elliot Stabler was really a man you could count on.

Olivia searched through the brown envelope to get out her house keys. Her hands were still shaky from the earlier anxiety crisis, and she decided to let Elliot open the door. As soon as it was, she led the way and went straight to her couch, happy to sit down in a familiar environment. A massive headache was starting to take the most of her. She tried to suppress a sigh when Elliot came to sit next to her.

"Want to talk about it?"

The only answer Elliot got was a very discreet sob. Olivia was brushing both her hands over her face, as though she wanted to erase the exhaustion on it. But it was too much. Her lips began shaking when she felt a warm hand gently touch her shoulder. As much as she would have liked to cry in that cell, when she was on her own, she now wanted to suppress the emotions taking over. Fear, of Lowell Harris and the bad side that he had brought back two years after the events. Pain, of seeing how she pulled her friends and colleagues in difficult situations. Damn, Elliot had put a mortgage on his house, an awfully huge weight on his whole family, just because of her. What was that supposed to mean?

Elliot did not say anything when his partner crumbled next to him, breaking into tears she vainly tried to suppress. It was just too much. The reasons behind, he didn't quite know, but he could imagine that it was not merely spending a few hours in prison that had led to such a crisis. So the man just sat next to her, soothing her back while she let escape all these feelings.

After a few moments, the strong Elliot could no more listen to Olivia's sobs and whimpers, so he pulled her shaking form towards him and imprisoned her in a tight embrace until he felt her relax. He really had put himself in a complicated situation, and couldn't imagine going home to an angry and disappointed Kathy. Maybe the captain was right. Maybe he had grown far too close to Olivia Benson. But what was the problem in doing everything to free his partner of eleven years? To be there in tough times, to comfort her and assure her he still believed in her?

"How is she?" Of course, Elliot knew that his captain would call to check on Olivia. Even after their verbal fight, Don Cragen remained a very concerned superior, who thought of nothing else than the well being of his detectives. And the captain seemed to be more than happy to know Olivia safe at home instead of beaten up in a cell at Rikers.

"She's sleeping." Saying that, Elliot threw a glance at the lying form on the sofa. Olivia had fallen asleep twenty minutes earlier, exhausted by this awful day. "Anything new on your side?"

"We had a call from a woman who recognized the man on your picture. And Melinda is here. I think you'd better come as quick as possible."

"I'm not so sure about leaving Olivia alone, Captain. She had a rough day."

"I'm sure she would want you to help solving the case. I really need you down here, we've got some important news."

After ending the call, Elliot sat down on the coffee table, looking at the now peaceful Olivia on the sofa, her right hand laid on a cushion near her head. Her face looked less exhausted and hurt than it had earlier. Elliot reluctantly grabbed his coat, readjusted the blanket over Olivia and left, using his own emergency house key to close the door without a noise.


	3. Chapter 3

After ending the call, Elliot sat down on the coffee table, looking at the now peaceful Olivia on the sofa, her right hand laid on a cushion near her head. Her face looked less exhausted and hurt than it had earlier. Elliot reluctantly grabbed his coat, readjusted the blanket over Olivia and left, using his own emergency house key to close the door without a noise.

"Fabricate DNA?" Elliot was flabbergasted. The man was standing amid the other detectives, looking Melinda Warner straight in the eyes.

"Someone fabricated Olivia's DNA?" He could not believe it. In fact, no one could quite believe the amazing news Melinda had just taught them. Scientists in Israel had found a way to fabricate DNA by mixing two bloods. And this very innovative technique had been used on the other side of the world, in New York, to set up a detective for murder.

"This means criminal science is going back twenty years. Every perp will now claim he was set up and it wasn't his DNA on the murder weapon." Melinda continued. Fin, Munch, Cragen were all looking at each other, not knowing what to say. At least, they now had a proof that Olivia was not guilty. Elliot was biting his lips and just standing there, in the middle of the group, hands on his hips. Everyone was waiting for his reaction.

"So where does that leave us?" he finally said, looking Cragen straight in the eyes.

"I guess we only have to find Harrison. Any news on that side?" The last question was addressed to the whole squad, and Fin took this opportunity to deliver the latest news he had received.

"I have gone through the phone calls of Harrison's phone. And it seems he called quite often someone at the University. Maybe one of the researchers will know something about these scientific tests?"

"Alright, you go and try to get a name, see if he had other customers and so on. Get him to call Harrison so we can trace his phone in the city."

"What if he goes after Liv?" Elliot said out of the blue, as his colleagues were about to go back to work. Cragen reflected and pointed a finger towards Elliot.

"Send two officers down to her apartment and tell them to watch the entrance of the building. I'll call Moralez to get him to trace the phone."

"I don't need a baby sitter, El…"

Olivia was looking down at the police car parked right in front of her building. She felt Elliot smile on the other side of the line, which made her feel a little better. She had awoken one hour before, to an empty apartment. After making a pot of coffee, she had stepped into the shower and stayed there at least twenty minutes. She had then decided to get dressed and drive her car to the precinct, until she remembered that her car was still being examined by CSU. Before she could put on her shoes, her phone had gone off and Elliot had appeared as the caller.

"Yes, you do until we find Harrison. How are you feeling?"

"Better now, thanks El. Keep me posted, okay?"

With that, she hung up and sat down on the couch with her files and a cup of steaming coffee.

Elliot, Cragen and Moralez were all three sat in the back of the black police van, waiting for Fin to do his magic. Cragen was listening in an earplug to what Fin and the researcher were discussing, hoping that the man would not suspect anything.

"He's calling…" Moralez announced, concentrated on the digital map in front of him. He began typing frantically to trace the call. The three men listened as the rings echoed through the van, until the call went straight to voice mail.

"Damn…" Cragen couldn't help swearing when the phone went dead. But Moralez did not stop typing.

"I think I may still determine the vicinity. Let's see…"

Elliot was brushing his right hand over his chin back and forth, trying to get off his chest all his frustration. Where was the guy? A first circle appeared on the map, then a second, and a third. With each circle appearing, Elliot was becoming more and more nervous.

"This is Olivia's neighborhood… Call the officers and tell them not to let anyone in!" Saying that, he threw the back door of the van open and ran to his car, taking out his cell and choosing the speed dial.

"Hang on, El…" He was relieved to hear Olivia's very awake voice at the other end of the line. "Callaghan? How many bathroom breaks does that make? Give me a second… I'm listening, El."

Elliot heard banging on the door, and Olivia's whimper hidden behind a loud crash.

"Liv? Olivia!" Elliot was already in his car, turning the motor on. He didn't even look backwards before piling out of his parking lot.

Olivia stopped breathing for a few seconds when her house door burst open and a young man in his thirties appeared in the frame, weapon in hand and a devilish look on his face. Before she could register what was happening, the detective felt her legs move towards her bedroom. Closely followed by her assaulter, Olivia closed the door behind her, putting all her weight on it to keep the man from coming in. She fought a few moments but could not resist more than a couple of minutes before the man broke the door, throwing her onto the bed. Her ribs met the wooden corner of the bed and Olivia cried out in pain, unable to move from her spot. When her vision was less blurred by the tears of pain, she saw the man standing over her, waving a Taser in his right hand.

"Detective Benson, why so tense?"

"Who are you?" Olivia struggled to get the few words out. She was out of breathe and an unbearable pain shot through the side of her body with each breathe she took.

"You don't remember me?"

"David Harrison." She managed, trying to steady her body on her left elbow.

"So so… there you are. Now you understand?"

"Understand what?"

"Why we are in this situation…" The man was completely mad. He was spitting each word at her, waving his weapon dangerously close to her body.

Olivia wanted to answer, but she felt a metallic taste of blood in her mouth. She probably had a broken rib, and could not afford to speak anymore. Resting her head on her left arm, she breathed in and whimpered at the pain, hoping Elliot would be here soon.

"I have absolutely no idea…" Her words were merely whispers, and David Harrison kneed down to listen to her.

"You have no idea?!" he shouted. "You have no idea why I had to do this?! Don't try to fool me, detective Benson… You don't remember what you did to me?"

As he got no response, the man became even madder. Why had he done all this if she wasn't even to acknowledge her failures?

"Don't you remember what you said to me? A pretty boy like you is gonna be really popular in prison… Well, you got what you wanted, eh?"

Olivia's eyes went from fear to comprehension and shame.

"I shouldn't have said that… Even to scare you, I shouldn't have said that… Were you raped ?"

The man stood still for a moment, apparently fighting to keep his tears inside. He moistened his lips, looking all over the room to find something, an object to hold onto. Then he smiled.

"Whatever. Now you're on it. Perhaps when you're raped, you'll understand what you put me through…"

The first electrical shot was quite a blessing, as Olivia forgot for one moment her probably broken rib. The second made her want to throw up. The third – and last – brought her body into shaking and made her breathe even more unsteady than before, if possible. Olivia struggled to get some air into her lungs but it seemed her whole body was paralyzed by the electrical shocks. She did not even hear the shot that echoed through her apartment, just as Elliot was arriving at her floor.


	4. Chapter 4

The first electrical shot was quite a blessing, as Olivia forgot for one moment her probably broken rib. The second made her want to throw up. The third – and last – brought her body into shaking and made her breathe even more unsteady than before, if possible. Olivia struggled to get some air into her lungs but it seemed her whole body was paralyzed by the electrical shocks. She did not even hear the shot that echoed through her apartment, just as Elliot was arriving at her floor.

"Liv? Liv, are you okay?"

Elliot, gun pointed in front of him, entered the room to find the most horrendous scene. A man was lying on the ground, drowned in his own blood from what seemed to be a fatal head wound. Next to him, he spotted the shaking feet of his partner, half hidden behind the bed.

"Olivia!" Forgetting about the perp, he kneed down next to his partner, soothing her hair and taking out his cell phone at the same time.

"1013, 1013, this is detective Elliot Stabler from SVU Manhattan. I need medical assistance at detective Olivia Benson's apartment. Officer down, I repeat, officer down. I need medical assistance now!" He shouted in the phone without stopping to breathe. Then he threw the cell on the bed and concentrated on Olivia, who was still half conscious.

"Where are you hit? Liv? Do you hear me, where are you hit?"

The brunette struggled to open her eyes and get out a sound, but not much came out. She could hardly breathe, let alone talk. Instead, she used the energy she still had to point towards the Taser lying on the ground next to her.

"How many? How many times did he hit you?"

"… Three." The pain shot through her body again. She felt completely limp and could not even move her head.

"You're gonna be alright. Don't move, help's coming, okay?"

Elliot pulled Olivia into his lap, but she cried so loud when he tried to pull her body that he let go at once. He cradled her head in his lap and soothed her hair, wiping away the blood from the corner of her mouth, and waited for the back up.

Olivia Benson woke up at once, in a hospital bed. She felt as though she had slept whole days. Her eyes slowly got accustomed to the dull light of the room, and she considered the environment around her. She was linked to a machine to control her heart rate. A bandage was compressing her broken ribs. Her dry lips confirmed her that she must have been sleeping a long while. When the brunette looked to her right, she met the blue eyes of her partner and his irresistible smile.

"Hey… Have I been sleeping long?"

The curtains were open and Olivia noticed that it was all dark outside, except for the artificial lights of New York's buildings.

"A few hours… How are you feeling?"

Olivia vaguely wondered why he stayed so far from her. Seated in the corner of the room, he had merely stood up when he had seen Olivia's eyes flutter open.

"Sore. I feel like I've been running a marathon."

"You have, in a way. These electrical guns are really dangerous… The doctor said that, if he had given you one more shot, your heart would probably have failed."

"Enough sweet talk, El…" Olivia tried to smile. Even her face muscles were hurting.

"Listen, I've got to go. I'll… visit you tomorrow. Sleep tight."

Without one more glance, Olivia's partner had walked out of the room. This was hurting even more than the broken ribs and electrical shots.

Elliot closed his eyes when he left the room, unable to face his own attitude. He was acting like a jerk, and he knew it. The detective almost forgot his colleagues queuing in the corridor. Cragen's hand on his arm brought Elliot back to reality.

"Is she awake?"

"… Yes, she just woke up."

"Where are you going then?" Cragen looked distrustful at his detective. He had been out of it the last days and put all his energy into freeing his partner. And now, he just walked away.

"Kathy's waiting at home."

Fin and Munch looked at each other with a questioning glare and decided against intervening. There had always been a lot going on between those two, things that the outside world just couldn't understand. And the other detectives were safer when they did not say a word.

"Is something up with Elliot?" Olivia asked after finishing the glass of water Fin had poured for her.

The three men looked at each other, not knowing how to answer.

"What do you mean?"

The brunette lifted her body with both her arms to try to sit down.

"Well, he talked to me two seconds and stormed out. Is there something I should know?"

Again, her question was met with a long and awkward silence. Fin came to stand right beside his friend.

"Baby girl… Elliot has really been out of it since this whole mess started. I guess he just needs his space now."

Olivia nodded as a response and changed the subject. She hated feeling like a teenager longing for some recognition from a male. She was strong and independent, and did not like running after someone, especially not Elliot Stabler.

"So, fill me in, captain…"

Cragen sighed very loudly and began his report, which he had already repeated at least a dozen times.

"We found the scientist who helped Harrison set you up. He's in a cell right now, waiting to be interrogated. But he's undoubtedly going to end up in jail. Fin found a register book in his lab with a list of customers… It seems he helped set up at least a dozen other people with a pending trial or already in jail. The whole squad is working with the ADAs to put some order in this mess. And you… are totally free. Charges have been dropped of course, thanks to Melinda's testimony."

Olivia did not even smile at the news. She expected her name to be cleared after Melinda's discovery, but knowing that so many other people had been victim of this brand new technique was depressing.

"How are we going to do our job now, if we can't even rely on our scientific proofs?" She said to no one in particular.

"Well, fortunately if Melinda could determine that the DNA in your case had been fabricated, others can do it… But it's going to slow down the process a lot."

Elliot had been seated at his desk for over two hours and had merely finished one report. After this whole mess, he had been put on desk duty for a week, with slow hours and no stress. Cragen thought it was best that Elliot took it slow. Without Olivia, who was still on bed rest, he could anyway not go on the field on his own.

"You look exhausted, man…" Fin finally said, after looking at his colleague for ten minutes and noticing how his eyes wandered around, following the movements of his pen, looking at the chair at the opposite desk, and back at his report.

"I… have not been sleeping well these days, it's all."

"When is Liv coming back?"

Elliot cleared his throat. He had not talked to her in over a week.

"On Monday, I think."

"Talking of the devil…" A smile appeared on Fin's face as he watched Olivia walk into the bullpen, a coffee in hand and still a large bruise on her cheek.

"Hey, hey… Welcome back, baby girl…"

Olivia smiled as she put the coffee onto her desk and laid another one in front of Elliot. She was incredibly happy to be back, even though she still needed to check with Cragen before settling in.

"What are you doing here already?" The detective was a little taken aback by the harsh tone of her partner.

"Hello, yourself. I had to get out. Enough of lying around and doing nothing… Looks like you're not too happy to see me."

Olivia's eyes threw flames at her partner. She was so tense that the broken rib was hurting at once. Suppressing a sigh, she sat down at her desk without taking her eyes off Elliot. Sensing the anger rising between the two detectives, Fin started backing off.

"Well, we're all glad you're back. Take it easy, you don't look too well…"

"Thanks, Fin." Olivia purposely exaggerated the angry look she gave Fin before turning towards their captain's office.

"I'd better go and talk to Cragen before he throws me out." Helping herself with her hands, she stood up carefully and walked towards the office, brushing past Elliot, whose eyes had not left his report. As soon as she was at a distance, Fin came to sit on the edge of Elliot's desk.

"What is your problem, Stabler?"

"Excuse me?" Elliot put down the pen and only moved his head to look straight towards an angry Fin.

"You know damn well what I mean. You're completely helpless when she's in prison, and as soon as she's out, you act like a jerk."

Elliot bit his lips and joined his hands.

"You know you have to talk to her. She's your partner." Fin continued, not impressed by the questioning and threatening look of his colleague.

"I will… but I'm not ready." The man finally admitted, looking at his hands. What was he supposed to do? Tell his partner of eleven years that he could no longer work with her because he had realized how he felt about her?

"And what will you tell her?" Fin was pushing him. The game had been going on far too long, in his point of view. Before Elliot could finally get off his chest the billion things he had to tell, Cragen's door flew open and Olivia marched back towards her desk.

Elliot sighed loudly, cleared his throat and hesitating a moment.

"Liv, you got a minute?"

Olivia's eyes wandered from her partner to Fin, who were both looking at her too strangely for her likings. She sipped at her coffee and nodded.

"Sure."

Fin and Munch couldn't help following the two detectives as they walked out in the corridor. Elliot stopped and began biting his lips. His hands seemed frozen on his hips and made him look like a shy teenager waiting to invite his girlfriend to the prom.

"What is it?" Olivia's voice was cold. The brunette had crossed her arms on her chest in a very defensive attitude. Elliot's blue eyes searched hers and wandered again to the ground as he cleared his throat.

"How are holding on?"

"El… if you wanted to talk to me just to check on my well being, it was not necessary." Olivia began walking away, soon stopped by Elliot's hand on her forearm. They had never been very tactile in the past years of partnership, but lately, it had become a common thing for him to touch her arm, to cradle her, to put his arm on her lower back… Intimate gestures she more than liked.

"Wait… I need to tell you something." Elliot Stabler did not often take this low voice. The last time he had used it was when they had talked about adoption. This was his "getting personal" voice.

"I'm listening."

"Kathy and I are getting divorced."


	5. Chapter 5

"How are holding on?"

"El… if you wanted to talk to me just to check on my well being, it was not necessary." Olivia began walking away, soon stopped by Elliot's hand on her forearm. They had never been very tactile in the past years of partnership, but lately, it had become a common thing for him to touch her arm, to cradle her, to put his arm on her lower back… Intimate gestures she more than liked.

"Wait… I need to tell you something." Elliot Stabler did not often take this low voice. The last time he had used it was when they had talked about adoption. This was his "getting personal" voice.

"I'm listening."

"Kathy and I are divorcing."

"What?" Olivia stopped pacing around and searched his eyes. "Why is she doing this?"

"She didn't. I did." This comment had even more effect than the last. Olivia sat down on the nearby bench and motioned her partner to do the same.

"Why is that?" Her voice expressed suspicion rather than sadness. The truth was that she was wondering the reasons behind this decision.

"I guess it was going on for a long time. I just decided to take a proper decision for once, instead of waiting and accepting."

"Why now?"

Elliot was still biting his lips, trying to find the right words. He raised his head to look at his partner. She looked so concerned. She had always been there for his family, for his wife, for his children, and of course for him.

"Because I want something else. I am sick of playing by the rules…"

"Sorry to interrupt you, the captain wants to see you both. We caught a case." Both detectives raised their heads when Munch's voice echoed through the corridor. They all remained still for a moment, and finally Olivia nodded to indicate Munch they would come back any minute. Not quite satisfied with Olivia's half smile and Elliot not looking at him at all, Munch jogged back into the bullpen.

"Come on…" Olivia was the first to stand up, and waited for Elliot to do the same. He sighed deeply once again. Saying it aloud was making it real, in a way. Now that Olivia knew, Elliot finally realized what a divorce meant. Or rather, he remembered the hell he already went through. But it was for the good cause.

When he stood up and looked at his partner, he could not resist pulling her into a hug. Being close to Olivia felt so good. Now he knew why he was doing all this. Surprised by the gesture, Olivia let herself relax in his embrace, and felt the weight he must be bearing on his shoulders. She had witnessed half of Elliot's marriage, and seen the ups and downs of it. She had grown close to the whole family, but had always felt that it wasn't truly the place he belonged to.

They enjoyed the moment without acknowledging the funny looks they received from the other detectives walking past them. They probably thought that Olivia had lost it because of the last case, but she didn't care. In a way, it was true. She had lost it in the intimacy of her apartment.

"Detectives… Can we get back to work?" Don Cragen was standing in the frame of the door to the bullpen and looking at his two top detectives. While the opinion of the other detectives didn't matter to Olivia or Elliot, they couldn't help separating briskly – probably a little too quickly, as though they had been caught in action – when they heard their superior's voice.

"Sorry, captain… We'll be right there." Olivia looked at her partner and led the way to join the group. They would talk about this later on, they had to.

"So, now that everyone's here…" Saying this, Cragen voluntarily exaggerated each word, looking reproachfully towards Olivia and Elliot. "We just had a call for a missing person. Girl, 8 years old, disappeared this morning in Central Park. Her mother was with her, and she lost sight of the girl during a few moments on the children playground. Probable abduction. We already have uniform officers canvassing the whole park, but no sign of the girl yet. I want you all on the field."

Olivia was turning around in her bed, unable to close her eyes. Each time she tried to shut her eyelids, she was assaulted with flashbacks of her in the cell, of Elliot bringing her home, of their embrace in the precinct. Thoughts about Elliot's announcement did not leave her either, making her pulse faster when she reflected on what this meant concretely.

When the clock hit 1:12 AM, the brunette straightened herself as best as she could and opened her cell. No messages. She wanted to get out and breathe some fresh air. Quickly dressing in a pair of jeans and a red pullover, she decided against taking her car – which had been restituted two days ago by CSU – and walked down the stairs for a stroll outside.

Two hours later, she was now sitting on a bench and gathering her breath. The broken ribs were still hurting, even two weeks after the assault, but this walk had done her a lot of good. Olivia was not surprised when her cell phone went off. Checking the caller ID, she saw that it was her partner.

"El, it's half past three in the morning…"

"So what are you doing wide awake?"

Olivia smiled. The truth was, she was glad to have someone to talk to.

"Where are you?" Olivia brushed a hand through her hair and looked around her.

"Um… Between the 60th street and Madison."

"Mind if I join you?"

Olivia hesitated. It was not really appropriate for two partners to meet up like that, in the middle of the night. And yet again, they were no children and knew what they were doing.

"Not at all. And bring your car, you can drive me home afterwards…" she said, making him laugh at the other end of the line.

"Yes, Ma'am."

Fifteen minutes later, the blue sedan stopped on the other side of the street. Since she had hung up, Olivia had not seen a soul passing by. It was too early in the morning yet. Normal people were all sleeping. Normal people to which they did not belong.

"Oh my shining night…" Olivia called loud enough for Elliot to hear, when she spotted him getting out of his car with two coffees. She gladly took one from him and sipped at it while he settled down beside her.

"So, what are you doing up so late?" he asked, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees.

"Couldn't sleep… You?"

"About the same."

"Where do you stay for the moment?"

Elliot was a little ashamed to tell her he had checked in into a hotel. He felt like a cheating husband although he was not. He just had been brave enough to face the truth rather than stay in a loveless marriage.

"So, how are you feeling?" he asked, looking over to her with a concerned look. They had not talked properly since she had come out of the hospital, and he now regretted having been such a jerk, even under the present circumstances.

"Still hurting, but much better. You cannot imagine how I enjoy just staying in my apartment. I guess you only realize what you have when you're on the edge of losing it…"

"I guess so…" Elliot was looking away, so much recognizing himself in his partner and her feelings.

"You're thinking about Kathy?"

"I'm thinking about you." Taken by surprise, the brunette did not register immediately what he had just said. However she had no time to answer, as Elliot continued on his track.

"I thought I had lost you the other day…"

"I thought I was lost, to be honest." Olivia answered, turning the coffee in her hands to warm them up. She felt awkward in the present situation, having such a personal and honest conversation with her partner, considering the fact that they were both so specialized in hiding their feelings.

"And what would you miss most?"

"You mean, if I died? Nice question, Detective Stabler…" She sniffled, faking to be truly hurt by his comment.

"Sorry, I didn't mean…" Olivia tapped gently his partner's knee to signify that she was teasing him.

"So, what do you want to do?"

Olivia looked at him, not a bit surprise.

"You mean, now, at… 3.47 in the morning?"

"What would you say to an early breakfast?" Finishing his coffee, Elliot stood up and held his hand out for Olivia to take. Another gesture he rarely did.

"Yummy…" It was so good to see Olivia Benson smile. Elliot had rarely enjoyed this sight in the last weeks, but his announcement of the day before seemed to have lightened up the atmosphere a lot. They were no longer ignoring each other. They were back to their usual relationship. And yet, not quite the same relationship.

Olivia and Elliot marched into the bullpen together the next morning. He had driven his partner back home after their common breakfast, so that she could change. After a quick stop at his hotel room, he had driven back to pick her up, before heading towards the precinct, where they arrived a little after 7 AM. Fin was sitting at his computer, finishing the night shift by typing up his report of the presumed abduction. After three hours, the many troops searching through Central Park had finally found the little girl, Tiffany, sitting behind a tree and crying. She had ran away to scare her mother and had not found her way back. No abduction, a relief for all policemen involved, and for the parents of the little girl.

When Fin spotted his two colleagues entering, he couldn't help wondering where they had got these smiles and why they were arriving together, when the day before, they had been as cold as ice with each other. Talking had obviously done them much good.

"Hello you two, why here so early?"

Olivia smiled towards Fin, trying to do as though there was nothing weird in them arriving together.

"I've rested enough these last days… Are you arriving or leaving?"

"Leaving. I've spent the night answering the phone and doing paperwork, I'm EXHAUSTED… I'll leave you to it, guys." With that, Fin closed the file lying in front of him and went for the locker room to gather his things.

Elliot took out his jacket and laid it on the back of his chair. He had been reflecting all night. In fact, his call to Olivia had been the result of hours of reflection. And the detective had now taken his decision. Looking towards the captain's office, he saw that their superior was already busy working, typing on his computer and ordering files. This was the time to do it.

"Captain Cragen, do you have a minute?"

"Hello, Elliot. Come in." Cragen, without stopping what he was doing, waited for the detective to get seated. But instead of sitting down, Elliot paced back and forth in the room, only stopping to glance at his partner, outside.

"Elliot, you don't look too good. Something you want to talk about?"

"Actually, yes. Don't get me wrong but… I would like to change partners." Cragen cleared his throat and put down his pen, looking straight at his detective.


	6. Chapter 6

_Hello everyone. Thanks for all your reviews and nice comments. I've been writing stories for a moment now, but it's the first time I ever submit a story to your critical eye ;) I also noticed the technical problem one of you mentioned (the whole story so far in chapter 1 and repeated afterwards). i think I solved the problem, and am now going on with the story..._

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"What did you say?"

"You heard, Captain. I need to change partners." Elliot was being particularly calm, Cragen could not help noticing, which confused him even more.

"Sit down, Elliot. What is wrong with Olivia?"

"Nothing is wrong with Olivia. That is exactly why I need to change."

"I'm not getting it… Did you talk this over with her?"

"I will."

"Explain yourself." Cragen had stood up and was now the one walking through the office, hoping no one would notice the state he was in. He didn't need this now.

"Okay, but don't interrupt me, captain. Otherwise I don't think I'll ever get this off my chest." When his captain did not answer, Elliot took that as an okay and went on.

"I am getting divorced."

"I'm sorry, Elliot."

"Don't be. It was the best decision I have taken in years."

Don Cragen rubbed his chin, reflecting on what to say next. He could not help himself.

"And Olivia is no stranger to this situation, am I guessing right?"

Without raising his eyes, Elliot went on, as though he could not stop himself anymore. He had to say all this, he had to do it through. He had already said too much.

"I don't want to mess this up." The two men were silent for a few moments, both surprised at Elliot's honesty. He had finally come to reason. Or maybe precisely the contrary, depending on the point of view.

"I'll think this over, Elliot. But first, talk to your partner about this. I don't want to pick up the pieces."

"Elliot, what are you doing here?" Olivia Benson was standing in the doorway of her apartment. It was over midnight, a Sunday night, and she had dozed the whole day, recovering from the sleepless nights of the past week. As for Elliot, he had been on daily shift, for a change.

"Did I wake you up?"

"Of course not, it is only… almost one in the morning. Come in." When Olivia, who was still rubbing her face to erase the sleepiness, led the way into the living room, Elliot took in her appearance. She was wearing grey pajamas and a matching hoodie. Even in her night clothes, she still looked stunning, Elliot thought, sighing internally. He sat down on the couch opposite to his partner.

"Did something happen?" She asked, a little worried by this late visit.

"No, I just… wanted to see you." Olivia raised a questioning eyebrow, before standing up again.

"Coffee?"

"Um… Do you have anything else?"

Olivia checked her fridge, taking out a bottle of beer that she opened and set in front of Elliot.

"Thanks."

"So, tell me."

Elliot gulped eagerly his beer and looked up.

"I don't really know… I was just driving around, and I stopped two blocks from here."

"So you just popped in here… at one in the morning." Olivia was now half-serious half-teasing. Elliot had not been quite himself since he told her about the divorce. But she couldn't blame him: after all, over twenty years of his life – almost half of it – had just come to a disagreeable end.

The man, mouth full of beer, stopped to look at her. He swallowed hard, realizing his rudeness.

"Sorry… I didn't really think of anything before coming up. I'd better go."

Before he could set down the beer bottle on the coffee table, Olivia had stood up to keep him from leaving.

"Wait. Um… I would need a few minutes to get dressed and everything, but do you want to walk a bit? I could use a little bit of fresh air." She was beautiful, she really was, was the only thought that crossed Elliot's mind as he watched his friend standing, hands on her hips, in front of him.

"Liv, sit down. I need to tell you something."

At once, the friendly chat had become awfully tense. Olivia sat down as she was told, more of tiredness than obedience. Elliot, who was leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees, was reflecting. He was feeling nauseous merely imagining how Olivia would react.

"I asked Cragen to find me a new partner."

Olivia looked as though she had just been hit on the head. Her eyes vainly tried to hold on to something, as though the empty coffee mug or the newspaper on the coffee table could inspire her an answer.

"Why?" The brunette asked with a blank voice, not daring to look him straight in the eyes. A second was enough for Elliot to notice the anger and fear in his partner's voice. He instantly blamed himself for the way he said that. He had thought about the way he would phrase this for days and nights. An as usual, he had messed it up.

"You remember what I told you during the Gitano case?" By the look Olivia gave him, her partner understood that she remembered damn well.

"That you didn't want to have to look back all the time if I needed rescue."

"I feel too close, Liv. That's what I said. I told you I would not be able to work with you if I feared all the time to lose you. I think I've come to that point. Or rather, I came to it long ago, but only just realized the situation."

She certainly did not expect that. She had awaited to hear how useless she had become, how she was dependent on him, how her problems had taken a toll on his family life. But that they were too close?

"Where are you heading to, El? I don't get you."

"Liv, we have been working together for almost twelve years. We went through a lot together, and you know me better than my own family. You have seen me cry, fight, hurting, happy…" How was he supposed to go on? How was he supposed to tell her that he fell in love with her years ago, and never acted on his feelings?

"I just ended my marriage. Partly because my work took too much from me. I don't want it to happen again."

"I'm confused, El. What do you want?"

Elliot brushed a hand over his face. What did he want? Very good question.

"I don't want to mess up with you, that's what I want. I want to do it right, this time. If you feel like I do, of course…" Typical Elliot Stabler. He had just made the biggest confession of his life, but made it sound like just another bold and meaningless statement. He had just admitted that he felt more for Olivia than respect and friendship. Awful long minutes passed by until the silence was broken again.

"El, I've been through a lot lately… as you know. You don't sound so sure of what you want, and I don't want to jeopardize my partnership with you, if you change your mind in a few days. I want you to be sure. And… I need to digest what you just told me. Close the door when you go."

She had delivered this information so quickly, and had jumped so unexpectedly from the sofa that Elliot merely realized she was gone when the door clicked behind her. Fighting back the tears of anger and deception, he stayed on the same spot a long time, probably hours. He watched the sun playing in the living room, shedding new colors and lights onto the table, the sofa, the pictures on the bookshelf… When his cell phone went off, Elliot realized that it was almost 9 o'clock in the morning.


	7. Chapter 7

She had delivered this information so quickly, and had jumped so unexpectedly from the sofa that Elliot merely realized she was gone when the door clicked behind her. Fighting back the tears of anger and deception, he stayed on the same spot a long time, probably hours. He watched the sun playing in the living room, shedding new colors and lights onto the table, the sofa, the pictures on the bookshelf… When his cell phone went off, Elliot realized that it was almost 9 o'clock in the morning.

"Elliot, where are you?"

Rubbing his eyes which he had not closed a bit, Elliot cleared his throat.

"Sorry, captain. I overslept. I'll be there in ten."

"Make it twenty and it's alright."

Elliot vaguely wondered where his partner could be. She had not come back the whole night, probably guessing that he hadn't left. Now, Elliot had no other choice than leaving the apartment and hoping to confront her later on.

"How is Sleeping Beauty today?" Munch joked when Elliot came jogging into the bull-pen. His angry and heavy look brought his colleague back to silence. That is, until Fin arrived as well, accompanied by a young girl all shaken up and crying. He sat her down on a chair near his desk, and went to see Elliot at the coffee corner.

"Where's Olivia?"

"Hello, Fin. I… have no idea. Try her cell."

Fin whistled. They really had issues to solve, and they had better do it before the whole squad became crazy. Just at this moment, Olivia's heels were heard from the corridor. She greeted everyone with a vague "Hello" and went directly to her desk. She had never been as nervous and happy at the same time to get to work. Facing _him_ would be tough, but she had no other choice. Finding her flat empty this morning, when she finally came home, had brought her on the idea that she would begin the day meeting her new partner. But here he was, the same Elliot as ever, whom she felt astonishingly relieved to see.

Olivia had spent the night on the same bench where, a few nights before, they had talked about Elliot's family and the difficult decisions he had to take. She had sat there tonight for at least four hours, before crossing the road to warm herself up with a large and very strong coffee.

All lost in her thoughts, Olivia went through her vocal messages, before starting to sort the files piling on her desk. Work made her forget for a moment her personal issues, until Elliot sat down at his desk, right opposite to her. He raised questioning eyes towards her, to which she replied with a smile but not a single word. A few minutes of this game was enough for her. She had always been very good at keeping her feelings inside and playing the strong and untouchable cop. But this aptitude melted away when it came to Elliot. To Elliot and her. To _her_ Elliot. Shaking these thoughts away, the brunette concentrated back on the job and made a mental note to call Alex back concerning a case that was due in court soon. God, she needed a coffee… and an escape. Too happy to move her legs and forget the strange look her partner was giving her, Olivia Benson went very calmly to the coffee corner.

"You know I won't make a move if you don't tell me what you think…" Elliot's voice so close to her startled Olivia, who almost poured the dark liquid beside her mug. "I'm talking about… changing partners, of course."

"This is neither the time nor the place to talk about that." Olivia wished she would have spoken a little softer, as she spotted Munch looking curiously towards the couple.

"When will it be, then? I think I deserve at least a comment from you, after what I've told you."

Sighing, the dark haired detective went back to her desk, took a single sip at her coffee before setting the mug onto her desk and continuing her way towards the restroom. Of course, Elliot had to follow her. He could not reasonably just let her walk away each time they became serious, could he?

"El, I need to breathe." She just said when he opened the restroom's door to find Olivia searching through her locker.

"I won't let you walk away. Olivia, you don't know what I've been going through these past days…"

Olivia slammed the locker door shut without turning her head. She was boiling inside, and felt almost unable to hold back the words.

"The past days? Do _you_ know what I've been going through the past _years_, El? Do you think this is new for me?"

She immediately regretted her outbreak when she saw the shocked look in Elliot's eyes. The same he had worn on his face when he had found Olivia in that prison cell. The same he had had when Olivia had cried in front of him, unable to shoot Victor Gitano. She hated that look of helplessness.

"Why did you not tell me?" Go away, go away, prayed the brunette, feeling that her partner was coming closer. However, she did not move when both his hands came to gently touch her shoulders. The shiver that went through her body was so irrepressible that even Elliot felt it.

"Elliot, I can't do this if you're not sure… I really can't."

Olivia could now feel him breathing on her neck, and she wondered how close he was. And what if Fin, Munch or someone else now walked in? The next words were merely whispers.

"What if I'm sure?"


	8. Chapter 8

"Elliot, I can't do this if you're not sure… I really can't."

Olivia could now feel him breathing on her neck, and she wondered how close he was. And what if Fin, Munch or someone else now walked in? The next words were merely whispers.

"What if I'm sure?"

"Benson, Stabler! Want to join us?" Cragen's voice echoed through the bull-pen, as the two detectives came back from the locker room. They both were wearing heavy faces, which went not unnoticed by their colleagues. Trying to find discreetly a space in between the other detectives, Olivia and Elliot signified their captain with a nod that he could continue his report.

"The girl has been found two hours ago in a car that was parked on the 2nd avenue. The autopsy is being performed right now, so we should have the results back soon."

"Any information on the car owner?" asked Fin, to which Don Cragen answered by switching on the giant screen.

"The car belongs to a man called Daniel Myers, 39. One single arrest, two years ago, for assault on his ex-wife." The older man waved in direction of the screen, now showing a little girl.

"_This_… is Kathleen Myers, daughter of Daniel, 9 years old. The body found on the backseat of the car has been identified as hers."

Olivia tried to suppress a sigh. Such a young girl snatched from life. They had to deal with this type of cases night and day, but each time, the dark haired woman could not help identifying with the victim's family, and feeling sorry for such innocent souls.

"Daniel Myers is nowhere to be found. We called the ex-wife and mother of the children…"

Olivia interrupted a little too roughly, but she could not stop herself.

"Children?"

"Yes, detective Benson. Kathleen here has a bigger sister, aged 11. She was last seen two days ago, when the ex-wife brought the kids to M. Myers. Which means, we have a probable abduction here."

This last comment was met by a long silence, as all the detectives realized the emergency of the case. A girl's life was at stake. They had to be efficient and discreet.

"Now, I want you all on the case. The ex-wife happens to be newly married to judge Marsten. I therefore would expect from you to treat this case with great care."

After the captain had distributed the list of things to do, he motioned for Elliot to join him in his office for a moment. Of course, Elliot knew very well what this was about, and he would likely have asked his partner to join them, if Olivia had not already picked up her desk phone to call Melinda.

"Elliot, I suppose you understand that this is not the right time to change anything to our organization. However, as a friend, I would like to know where you are standing, and if you talked to _her_ about your decision?"

Don Cragen was leaning against the wall, hands in his pockets and a grave look on his face. Olivia and Elliot were probably the best detectives of his squad, both implicated, human and efficient. If he could do anything to soothe the transition or to help them work out their issues, he would jump in.

"Captain, I'm sorry, I probably came to tell you a little bit too early."

"Did you talk to her?"

"Yes, I did. But you know Olivia, it's not so easy to get through to her…"

Cragen couldn't help smiling a little.

"I know you too, Elliot. You are not the most delicate man on earth… Let me tell you one thing : Olivia has been alone almost all her life. _You_ have had a wife and five children… She cannot afford to be deceived once more."

"I don't intend to deceive her."

Don Cragen soothed his naked head with his right hand, a gesture he always did when he was confronted with a problem.

"Elliot, for twelve years, you and this partnership have been the most, if not the only stable thing in her life. How do you think that makes her feel, imagining she could lose all this?"

Looking out of the office window, Elliot watched sternly his partner talking over the phone. She looked very concentrated, and was scribbling on her notepad.

"Captain, give me some time to sort everything out, and I'll let you know what comes out of it, okay?"

Cragen nodded in silence, his eyes following Elliot as he went back to the desk and talked to Olivia. The captain watched them interact, secretly hoping he would not lose his best team.


	9. Chapter 9

"Captain, give me some time to sort everything out, and I'll let you know what comes out of it, okay?"

Cragen nodded in silence, his eyes following Elliot as he went back to the desk and talked to Olivia. The captain watched them interact, secretly hoping he would not lose his best team.

The house was all silent and looked almost abandoned. Abandoned, except for the numerous policemen jogging around it. Elliot and Olivia had taken two officers with them to check the front door, while Fin, Cragen and three other uniform policemen were slowly marching towards the back entrance. After a whole day and a night searching and driving through the city to interrogate witnesses and neighbors, they had finally got a lead on Daniel and Natacha Myers' whereabouts. The father had rented this house under his mother's maiden name.

Checking that everyone was in position, Elliot leaned forward and knocked at the door, hoping the man would simply open the door. Of course, things were never that simple. As there was no answer, Elliot called very loudly "Police, open the door!" to get a reaction. Both detectives could hear steps and whispers coming from inside. But no sign of a child yet. After a second, and a third call, Elliot and Olivia decided to go inside.

Both front and back door burst open at the same time, under the repeated kicks of the policemen. The whole squad charged inside, checking room after room. They decided that the ground floor was clear, and parted to head upstairs, Cragen first, followed by his three detectives. They had not even reached the first floor that a serie of shots echoed. The bullets bore holes into the wall next to Cragen's head, urging the detective to duck.

"M. Myers, drop your weapon!" Cragen called. He now had rarely the opportunity to be on the field, but even at the highest rank of hierarchy, a cop could never forget the basic competences, such as defending himself or negotiating with dangerous persons.

"Go away!"

"The house is surrounded, M. Myers. Is Natacha with you?"

No one answered, but Olivia distinctly heard a child whimpering. She tapped her superior's leg, to let him know that the girl was there. Natacha was upstairs, possibly threatened by her father's gun.

"M. Myers, we do not want anyone to be hurt, especially not your daughter. Would be please let her go downstairs, so that we can talk calmly?" Cragen continued, hoping the man would come to reason.

"Natacha is going nowhere! Leave my house now, or I'll shoot you if you come near!"

Cragen bit his lips, trying to find a quick and efficient solution to the problem. God, he was glad not to go through this day after day…

Olivia was trying to reassure Natacha, who had not stopped crying since the detective had taken her hand, fifteen minutes before. How could you blame her? The 11 years old had just seen her father being shot in front of her. It was a miracle that she had not been injured as well.

"Ssshh… We called your mum, she is on her way. Now, darling, will you let the doctors examine you? We just want to make sure that you are okay."

Elliot Stabler was making his oral report to another officer, sent from the IAB, explaining what exactly happened in that house, and how their intervention ended up in the perp being killed.

When Lauren Marsten opened the passenger door of her car, the little girl slipped between Olivia's fingers to run towards her mother and stepfather. Olivia watched Natacha literally throw herself into her mother's embrace. She could not help smiling at this sight, dreaming of this unalterable bond between parent and child which she had never really experienced.

"You're okay?"

Elliot had come to stand beside his partner.

"Yeah… Have you survived the interrogation?" she teased, turning her face towards Elliot. They were so close that she could breathe in his cologne, which she had come to know with the years.

"Don't be so mean, it's your turn now…" Elliot voluntarily exaggerated his grave voice to make her laugh.

"Do you want to wait for me? Fin and Cragen already drove back to the precinct, and we are off duty as from now. I thought you might want to eat a bite?"

Elliot was not sure if he was happy or nervous. Probably both, at the idea of really confronting her, talking to her for more than a couple of minutes, hidden in the locker room. Only the two of them. God, he was nervous at the mere idea. While Olivia was searching the officer who was supposed to take her report and had mysteriously disappeared, her partner made his way to the blue sedan. He still had his bulletproof jacket on. He struggled to get it off but the ringtone of his phone distracted him. Kathy. Sighing, he gave Olivia one more glance before settling on the driver's seat to talk to his soon-to-be ex-wife.

When Olivia had finished with the officer, she walked down the porch, her eyes automatically searching for the blue sedan or her partner. When she did not spot either of them, she sighed and took out her cell phone, hitting the speed dial.


	10. Chapter 10

_Hello everyone... I am continuing with my story, which has become much longer than I had expected. As you might have understood, I am EO shipper, but intend to stay as realistic as possible... so I'm taking things slowly and progressively! Enjoy and give me ideas for the continuation if you like!_

"Liv, I'm sorry, I had an emergency…"

Olivia rubbed her forehead in frustration. She knew what was coming next.

"Did you go home?" The knot in her throat became loose as she listened with concentration to the silence on the other end of the line. She had dreaded the moment she would face him. But his hesitation between her and Kathy once again had made the possibility of a relationship fade in her eyes.

"Yes, but it's not what you think. Kathy called me because she wanted…"

"Listen, El." She snapped "I am quite tired anyway. Do what you have to do, I'll get one of the officers to drive me home when they are finished. I'll see you tomorrow?"

Fighting the tears that were trying to get out, she shut the cell before Elliot had a chance to answer, and rubbed her face with both her hands. Another flashback popped up in her head and she tried to erase the thought. Elliot standing opposite to her, in the hall of the court building, and announcing her that Kathy was pregnant. Perhaps he would do the same again, tonight. Go back to his ex-wife, because he couldn't bear to lose the little stability he had in his life. A stability she had learned not to count on. Olivia was much stronger than he was, and she couldn't blame Elliot for this. She was strong enough to let him solve his issues and still be there to support, as a partner and friend.

Olivia Benson was trying not to fall asleep over her desk. She checked the time for – at least – the tenth time that evening. It was merely 11.45, but she was on her own in the bull-pen. A few desk lamps were still on, but everyone had gone home, except for the officers watching the cells and their provisory inhabitants. Olivia went for the coffee corner, pouring herself another cup. The day had been long but she strangely was not so tired. She just needed the distraction, and gulping down cup after cup made her feel less _empty_. The detective had finished her report on the current case one hour ago, and was now going through old files, sorting them and writing down the victims she needed to call to keep them informed on the latest developments – or non-existence of them.

"I thought you might have come back here…" Elliot's voice had a soft intonation that she did not recognize. Olivia raised briefly her eyes towards him, watching him put his keys on the desk and approaching to sit on the edge of her own table.

"Yeah, I thought I might get some work done before going home." Olivia succeeded sounding casual and unattached. She had shifted her concentration back on her report, leaving Elliot in a somewhat awkward silence.

"I drove by your apartment and saw there was no light. You, going to bed before midnight. Nah… So I drove by the precinct to check if you were still here."

"And you found me." Now the casual had turned into a little angry voice. Olivia cleared her throat before any more reproach could come out.

"May I explain myself?"

Olivia angrily put her pen down and looked at her partner, instinctively leaning backwards in her chair to take some distance from him.

"Go on, then."

"Kathleen was on a class trip the last days. She only came home tonight, and Kathy wanted to wait for all the children to be together before telling them."

Elliot was relieved to see his partner's eyes soften a little. He knew she would have been making up awful theories to explain his strange behavior.

"So we told them about the divorce. Kathy's already asked her lawyer for the papers."

Olivia nodded, trying to hide the shivers going through her body as she thought about the crazy possibilities she had imagined.

"How did they react?"

"Much better than I had expected. They felt that something was not going right since we came back together with Kathy."

"You cannot really fool children, can you? They understand much more than adults think." Olivia thought out loud, her eyes lost somewhere on her desk.

"I'm sorry if I gave you a false impression…"

"Don't justify yourself, El. I have no right to judge you." When the brunette raised her eyes again, she was taken aback by her partner's shocked expression.

"Of course you have, Liv. And I _am_ truly sorry. I should have called before leaving like that. I just… kind of jumped on the occasion. I had dreaded this moment for quite a while."

"What are you going to do now?" She asked, taking him by surprise. So lost in his hesitations, Elliot had not yet thought of a real plan ahead. He wanted to enjoy the moment and see what was going to happen, without organizing everything in advance. He wanted a little bit of freedom.

"Give you a lift home. Come on, it's late enough."


	11. Chapter 11

_Hi everyone. Thanks for the reviews and one comment: what I am looking for on this website is feedback on my writing style, the way I build up characters and situations. I totally enjoy bad reviews as long as they are constructive. Insulting writers without any argument does not fit in there! Enjoy the reading_

_I don't own the characters, of course._

_*********_

"What are you going to do now?" She asked, taking him by surprise. So lost in his hesitations, Elliot had not yet thought of a real plan ahead. He wanted to enjoy the moment and see what was going to happen, without organizing everything in advance. He wanted a little bit of freedom.

"Give you a lift home. Come on, it's late enough."

Elliot stopped the car right in front of Olivia's building, and turned the motor off before she could open the door.

"I'd like to know something… When did you realize it?"

Even in the almost total darkness they were in, Elliot could see his partner's eyes glistening, either of anxiety, sadness or something else. Keeping her eyes on him, she did not say a word for at least a minute.

"When I went undercover to Oregon."

Elliot moistened his lips. Oregon. She was in Oregon, while he was fooling around with Dani. He really was a jerk.

"I… was hospitalized after a policeman assaulted me. I stayed unconscious a few hours, and my roommate told me I had only your name on my lips. I had been calling for you over and over."

Elliot reached over and pressed a gentle hand on Olivia's forearm, clearly sensing the shiver going through her arm as he made contact.

"If tonight's the confession time, there's also something I'd like to know…"

Elliot felt his cheeks go red. He felt like a teenager in front of his first girlfriend. But they were both grown up, reasonable, and had a long and complicated history behind them.

"Why Dani… and not me?" Elliot certainly did not expect this question, and he backed away a little too quickly.

"What do you mean?"

"El, stop covering up. You know… I came to visit you once, when Dani was still there. I saw both of you interacting. The way you looked at her, the way she acted in front of you… You had been with her a few weeks only, and you two looked far closer than we ever have been!" Olivia tried to control her voice, which was beginning to let through her emotions, the anger and sadness she had been keeping inside for years, the frustration that had been accumulating slowly…

"She was not you, Liv. She was… easy going. She let me through immediately. You were gone, and I was about to divorce. She was nothing like you."

Olivia was looking through the window, and stayed still an awfully long time, before clearing her throat and gathering her things.

"I see. I... I'm not what you need, El." With that, she left the car and began walking towards the building, struggling to breathe through the knot forming in her throat. Her steps unconsciously fastened as she heard Elliot run after her. He shouldn't do this. He shouldn't insist.

"Liv, wait…" When he finally caught up with her and grasped both her arms to stop her, her whole body became tense and she refused to turn around.

"Liv… Why are you saying that?"

Elliot could distinctly see the tears that Olivia was trying to hold back. He would have kicked himself for making her go through this.

"Elliot, you know me. I have been alone so long, I don't know how to deal with a relationship, I always shut everyone out. I… I am not easy going and flirty, I am not the perfect girlfriend you're looking for."

Elliot washed away a single tear that was slowly making its way down Olivia's cheeks, despite all her efforts.

"Who says I'm looking for the "perfect girlfriend"? Olivia, I have known you for twelve years. I know how you work, and why you shut everyone out. I know what there is behind this huge wall. Why won't you let me in?"

"I… can't."

"You won't. Let off your guard, just for once. I'm not Dean Porter, I'm not Lowell Harris and I'm certainly not your mother. I won't judge you or push you down. Let me be on your side… Let me support you."

Elliot's hands were now gently caressing Olivia's shivering arms.

"And if you change your mind tomorrow?"

"I won't."

"I couldn't bear you going back to Kathy. I couldn't work with you anymore."

"I won't. Liv, I promise I won't… please, let me in."

Olivia's nod was almost imperceptible. The strong detective felt unable to hold back her emotions any longer. Elliot, who still had his eyes fixed on his partner, took Olivia's face in his hands, soothing the wrinkles of anxiety and worry on her forehead, under her eyes, trying to erase them with his touch. Before he realized what was happening, Olivia leaned forward and kissed him softly. She had dreamt of this for years. But in her dreams, she had always imagined Elliot would back up and run back to his wife.

He did give her the kiss back. Holding her tightly, as though he was afraid of losing her, he deepened it until both were out of breath. Elliot looked at his friend, enjoying this new emotion he found in her eyes.


	12. Chapter 12

_The epilogue... I feel the story must come to an end, and I hope you agree and enjoyed it._

_*****_

He did give her the kiss back. Holding her tightly, as though he was afraid of losing her, he deepened it until both were out of breath. Elliot looked at his friend, enjoying this new emotion he found in her eyes.

A familiar ringtone echoed through the bedroom, and Olivia searched for her cell through the darkness.

"Benson."

Guessing that she was speaking with their captain over the phone, Elliot sat down on his side of the bed and reached out to turn on the light. Rubbing his eyes, he walked to the bathroom, just as Olivia was hanging up.

"It was Cragen, they found a body on the 30th. I said we would be there in twenty minutes."

It was such a weird feeling. Waking up next to someone, sharing your bathroom, having someone to talk to even in the middle of the night. Olivia mechanically dressed in a pair of trousers and a black blouse, not hearing Elliot, who came to kiss her on the neck. Having someone to kiss you unexpectedly, to pull you in a tender embrace. She had not had this happy and relaxed feeling for a very long time.

THE END


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